The Best Medicine

Is laughter the best medicine? I mean, can it cure AIDS, breast cancer, leukemia or even the common flu? NOT!! But I guess it gives a kind of relief. When you can laugh at the things that have gone wrong in your life, you know that you are cured. Well, maybe just spiritually or mentally.

I read that the average adult laughed at least 17 times a day. Iye ker?? I’ve counted my laughter today and it is less than 17. Wait a minute, it says ‘average’, maybe I should keep track of a month laughter or 30 days. Wait again, it says ‘the average adult’. Am I an average adult? But first, Am I considered an adult? Arghhh…malas nak pikir...

It continues to say that only humans laugh. Then I thought, is this true? I mean I’ve heard of laughing hyenas. And I don’t mean cartoon characters like bugs bunny, Donald duck or that purple monster Barney. I mean real animals. Like monkeys, birds or dolphins. The scientists got it wrong. I know that animals do laugh. Scientists just have not found evidence to support the fact that animals do laugh thus they came out with a theory that only humans do. I think the animals are watching and laughing at what we humans have done to ourselves. The bad things to humanity and our earth. Maybe they are crying also….

Laughter – a physiological response to humor consisting of gestures and production of sounds. The Encyclopedia Britannica described it as “rhythmic, vocalized, expiratory and involuntarily actions".

Gestures and sounds. Yup, variations of ‘em. I got this friend who rubs his tummy when he is laughing. And he got this continuous giggles up to 2 minutes. And that is just for some minor jokes (well, to me anyway). He looks like a monkey. I think he laughed or acted like that just to get some attention at him or to add more humiliation at those he make fun of. I think that he should be a clown. He already looks and sounds like one. He only needed a red nose.

Another of my friend, laugh and hit people on the back or the shoulder. He usually hit before he laugh. This can be very irritating to me. I mean, if it just a gentle slap on the shoulder then it’s OK. But a blow like Hulk Hogan can make me want to return the slap just as hard and laugh as hard at him too.

And I also see people who laughed until tears rolls down their cheeks. Happened to me too. It tickles your funny bones to the extreme and you shed tears for nothing. The scientific explanation for this is that the extreme movement of the jaws of mouth by closing and opening caused the struggle for more oxygen and this causes tear ducts to shed and also causes the face to turn red. And maybe the ears too.

Sometimes I see people who close their mouth with the palms of their hands when they laughed. I think it’s because they have bad breath or ugly teeth or even no teeth at all (hahhaha).

They are also a variety sounds of laughter. The hi hi hi ( like hantu ones), the ha ha ha ( the regular ones), the ho ho ho ( the santa claus ones) with different levels of tone, pitch, duration and volume. It really depends on the personality of the person and how he/she perceived the humor. Some sounded like monkeys, some like chickens and some like Beavis and Butthead. Well nobody have the same laughter I think. Laughter is like fingerprints , no two are the same.

In the cyber world, other than audio voice, laughter is indicated by some icons or by typing certain letters. For instance you got this old thing, lol (laughing out loud) or variations as follows:

The usual hahaha, hihihi or hehehehe
Wakakakakakkakaka ( funny!) or
Muakakakakkakakaka ( funny up a level with the addition of “mua” in the front) or
Kekekeeekekekeke ( sheeplike laugh)
Kui kui kui kui kui kui ( birdlike laugh)

The length of the typed variation laughter shows how he/she perceived the humor.

Laughter is also used to show superiority or satisfaction. Like in the old cerita melayu, you can see the villains or orang jahat laughing senselessly or endlessly. Usually the head crook will laughed first followed by the rest of the crew. Or sometimes it shows evilness in progress. “Ha ha ha” rubbing palm of hands,” I’m going to kill them all and all the richness will be mine! Mine! Mine!” followed by a louder “ha ha ha ha ha” and maybe a thunder strike.

It also can be used a way to make money. Like being a clown or a comedian or whatever you called ‘em in the entertainment industry. Some made millions. Making people laugh and making money for themselves. In Japan they got this laughing contest. The longest time laughing, the most unique sound of laughter etc. etc.

I’ve also heard about a person who suffers continuous laughing. This person can’t stop laughing! That's odd! I thought laughter is the best medicine! Maybe I can say he is on medication. Laughing painfully.

Can we fake laughter? Of course we can. I hate those radio DJs who faked laughing at their own lame jokes. But can you tickle yourself to laugh? No. I don’t think so. I’ve tried.

Social Distortion

Traffic lights. Lots of 'em.  Hate 'em, especially when it is a hot day and my car aircond is not working plus I'm late for an appointment! Sometimes I feel stupid you know. Here I am stopping at a red traffic light waiting for it to turn green when actually there is no other car passing by and it's already 3AM in the morning.

It feels like the other driver passing by at the opposite road is saying, "Hey stupid, just drive on! There's no car driving thru! It's 3am dude! There's no traffic police either! Who are you anyway? An angel!? Just drive you moron!"

And to add pressure, 2 more car are now lining behind my car. Probably saying the same thing, "Just drive man, there's no traffic, don't waste my time!"

But maybe it's just my thought. My negative thought to be exact. Nowadays traffic lights are more sophisticated. They got this digital counter to tell you how many seconds before it turns to red or green again. I like it, especially when I'm at the front, watching the red digit countdown..3..2..1..GO! Just like F1 racing! And when it's blinking green, from afar I know I got only 10 seconds to drive thru. Well I think traffic lights aren't bad after all. It tells me when to stop or go, or to slow down or get ready to go.

I wish in life there is some sort of traffic light to tell me when to stop or when to go at doing something. So I feel a little secure when it is green and knowing its red to do something. Life is like a journey. Whatever vehicle u're in, you choose a destiny. And you also got to choose whether to use the highway or the old way.

It doesn't mean that the highway could guarantee you better result but I guess it's easier and proven. But challenges lies everywhere. And no life is life without challenges and obstacles.

And it's good to have signs also. It's easier to know where we're heading in life to reach our destiny. Just like in the roads, I see signs that read, "turn left", "turn right","sharp turn ahead","winding road","Stop","No entry","one way", etc.etc.

If there is some sort of signs n traffic lights to guide our path in life, would it be good? I do not know. Maybe God have already given us signs but we could not see it or we have ignored it.

But even though there are signs n traffic lights in the roads, some people just won't follow. They don't stop at the red light and they don't bother to follow or even bother to read the signs.

Me, I have several times ran over red lights and some signs. Why did I do that? At those point of time maybe I just don't bother or I'm taking a calculated risk or I'm simply in a brief stupidity mode.

Looking back at my life, there are things that I've done or didn't do even though that the signs or warnings are at my awareness. Why? Simply because I'm not perfect. And you know what they say that rules are meant to be broken!

therapy/delusions/sicko

I read in the papers just the other day that shopping or window shopping is a good way to reduce stress among women. They did not mention anything about e-bay or e-shopping and or this sort of self therapy would give the same effect to the male counterpart. Maybe because males are less of a shopper themselves (but I like shopping though).

Maybe it is true. It can reduce the stress. But what I think is that this thing does not settled the problem or the stress but merely shifting it to another place.

How? Imagine a woman so stress out. One way to get some relief or joy is to go to the nearest mall or shopping complex for a shopping spree. Alone or with some friends (accomplices). Cash or credit cards. It doesn't matter. Whether she needed the things or not. Whether it matters if the sales girl says she looks like Kylie Minogue in that pink skirt (although she is in her forties) just to get extra commissions.

Whatever it takes to eliminate the stress away even for just a few hours in the mall and continued for another few hours in plush coffee shops, eating ice-creams (another ritual of the females to throw some stress away) and chat about stuff they bought. And how beautiful is the bottles of Jean Paul Gaultier perfume they just bought even if the contents and the smell is overpriced. Just because it's a designer perfume!

Yes, the stress is gone or reduced but it's actually at the same time slowly transferred to another place or person. Yup, guess what? The next location is the 'husbands' or 'bfs'. With all the credit card charged, the stress is on these poor dudes (transferred and settling in). So what do these guys do to release this stress??

You got it! Transfer it somewhere else. Maybe to someone else at the coffee shop, the mamak or wherever they like. Finding helping ears to listen to their distress. Maybe that helping ear is also doing the same thing, pouring his stress and worries out, vice versa. Feeding on each other and reducing the pain.

Maybe I'm over reacting on this issue. Maybe it's not an issue after all. Maybe those women just need an excuse to steal some time with friends doing stuff they like. Maybe these men also need to get away to do some guy stuff. Maybe it's not true at all that shopping can reduce stress. Well there's a lot of maybe here.

This reminds me of 'pain killer' pills. I usually take them when I have a toothache or headache. It lasted for a few hours, just enough so I can sleep painlessly. The pills tell my brain that my tooth are not aching, although it does. The pain is there but I can't feel it.

Just like shopping or hangin' out, it gives some joy and space to breathe but our problems or stress are still there.

Conclusion :
Painkillers, shopping, hanging out does not solve problems but give some temporary relief. Which is good.

My Prescriptions:

1)Paracetamol :
Always handy ( a pack of Milidon 500) I'll bring it anywhere I go, in case of emergency!

2)Shopping :
I rarely do. But if I do, I just shop for VCDs, DVDs, CDs, books or mags.

3)Hanging out :
Jamming Studio(need at least one friend to play the drums) 2 to 3 hours playing from Nirvana to Metallica, blues or whatever shit I remember.

Coffee Escape. For chillin' out alone, some soul searching. Usually in the evenings. Root beer float, Panini sandwich or some fries.

The mamaks. Lazy days. Minor stress. Nescafe tarik and The Malay Mail.

My bed. Absolute boredom. All day. Lazier days. Doing nothing. Just my soul. My body is useless this moment.

SHAKE BEFORE USE.
EXPIRY : UNTIL SANITY REAPPEARS.

If I am Superman

The first thing I'll do is change the dorky name 'Superman'. It sounds so silly. Like bragging or some sort. Hey check it out I'm Superman! I mean c'mon it's the new millennium already. Gotta keep up with the time u know. How 'bout MOSH? It's easy to remember, it's sounds fresh. Just like BONO of U2, PINK, MOBY or SLASH of GN'R. It got that nice ring to the sound, MOSH! I like it! So it's settled then, no more Superman. It's MOSH! Hehehe...

Hey! And that goes the same with the shitty outfit also. They gotta go dude. I mean, are you crazy? Red underwear! And he wears it outside his pants! Duh! I mean, red undies would look great for ladies (e.g Wonderwoman or any girls for the matter), but for men, yucks! (Now you know why Clark Kent does not want people to know he's Superman). We need a full make over here!

O.K, how about getting some sponsors for my new hip costume. Why not? I've done great things to help people all over the world, didn't I? From helping cats stucked on high trees, fighting bad peoples preventing crimes, preserving peace, harmony and unity among mankind..bla bla bla. I deserved this,don't you think so?

Anyway it can help boost the sales of those who sponsored me right? Imagine Adidas or Nike sponsporing my new custom made boots. And my new outfit by Calvin Klein or DKNY or GUESS or any designer labels. I'm sure they'll be happy. I know I will. Hey, and I need sunglasses too!

Next, I want 20% of profits of all merchandise related to me sold worldwide. Well, I gotta start saving for my future retirement you know. Do you think I will be flying and fighting everyday saving people asses until I'm 95 years old? Come on, I'll get old too you know. Remember I crashed to earth when I was a baby? And remember I was Superboy before? I'm sure I'm gonna be super old later! And anyway, some bad guy will surely get me with the bloody kryptonite one day!

Hey, maybe I'll get a TV producer for a reality TV program (these days people are crazy for reality TVs and this also means more money for my retirement fund..hehe). Maybe titled 'The Super Life'. This could lead me to Hollywood. Now I got a better idea! I will run for Governor of California. I mean, I'm better, stronger and more handsome than Arnie. So if he can do it, why not me? And I speak better than him. Beware Arnie!!

There's more to change if I'm Superman, I mean MOSH. One thing is that I will let people know who I am. No more Clark Kent! Anyway, I don't like to be a hypocrite you know. And I've already loose that stupid outside red underwear remember? So no need to be ashamed anymore. Plus I don't need to go for work at that shitty Daily Planet (it doesn't pays good either). I'm a superhero! I already got loads of work around the world. Not to mention as a governor later (hehe) and attending interviews and photo shoots for mags etc.etc. I'm a Hollywood star too!

And, I will fly a lot less now. Actually, I'm afraid of heights (even though I know if I fell, I won't get hurt). I just hate heights, period! Call me a sissy and I'll punch you out!

And also I will attend to only really really really emergency cases only. I mean you got the police, firemen, the army,the navy, boyscouts and volunteers everywhere in the world.And all of 'em ('cept the volunteers)are paid by the government and the people who pays tax. I don't want they taking me for granted that I'm a superhero and I should do all their work for them. And also take me as an excuse to become lazy! I mean you all are paid man. So get to work! Anyway, I got only two hands and two feet o.k, so gimme a break!

I'm also thinking of setting a phone-in number, so people could dial for my help and consultation. It will cost $1.50 per minute and you can also send SMS to me too for 50ct per SMS. They can also visit my website at www.supadude.com, loads of quizzes and prizes to be won. They could also become a member of my fan club and get special privileges such as Nightfly (an evening fly with me around the city for 15 minutes,err..only for females tho, with special discounts for club members).

Hey, come to think of it, I could do lot of things. I could open theme restaurants just like Planet Hollywood, a fitness centre, write a book, become a model, a talk show host and loads more stuffs. But I guess it's better if I'm not Superman. And let Superman be Superman.

'Coz I'm quite a procastinator myself. And that is bad. Imagine people in need of my help and I procastinated. By the time I reached the scene of the crime, these people could be dead! And what so super about a superhero who is afraid of heights?! Sooner or later people will go for other fine dude such as Batman, Spidey or even that green cousin of Shrek, Hulk! I don't need to be a superhero to have a super time anyway. I just need my Washburn Dimebag guitar and a friend to jam with and I will have a super duper time! Right on!